Ever since I was a little girl, pancakes have been synonymous with Sundays. My mother & I would prepare a big batch of those pre-mixed buttermilk ones, then settle down on the couch for a marathon of Coronation Street. As I grew up, pancakes remained a Sunday tradition. Even as I entered my twenties, living independently from my parents, I would head over to their house for a Sunday brunch, the main focus of which tended to be pancakes. Of course, more hangover-worthy foods were added to the meal during my university years (my folks are good like that) and instead of Corrie we had a new routine of listening to the Vinyl Cafe and Wiretap - until of course CBC changed their schedules around and separated the two men. I still forget about poor Jonathan, thrown into the chaos of Saturday's line-up, somewhere between "Just back from the market!" and "I should really do my laundry..." Thank god for podcasts.

I digress. As I switched to veganism, pancakes became the Ultimate Challenge. I'd collected a variety of vegan cookbooks, scoured many food blogs & forums, and asked all of my vegan friends, but I rarely found a recipe that hit the spot. Thin, rubbery, gluey, bland - all the things that make up a vegan pancake. Mmm! My mother tried to make them from scratch, but as she hadn't even made "normal" pancakes without a mix, this was foreign territory for her. Eventually she just found a mix that seemed to lack any non-vegan ingredients, and those fair pretty well.

Me? I wanted to master the elusive perfect vegan pancake. I've lost track of how many recipes I threw together haphazardly over the years. Some results were amazing, others went straight into the compost. Unfortunately, that bad little habit I have of improvising as I go along has ensured that I never actually obtain a die-hard, stuff-your-face, carboholic recipe of vegan pancake perfection.

Today's version is pretty close, though.

Coconut Improvisational Pancakes

1C organic unbleached flour
2T organic raw sugar
1/4tsp salt
Egg replacer (today I used 1/4tsp baking soda + 1/4tsp baking powder + 1/2tsp corn starch + 2TBSP water)
2TBSP Earth Balance margarine, room temperature soft!
1/3C coconut milk*
1/2C soy milk*
1/2C water*
1/4C shredded coconut

1) Pre-heat your pan. This is super duper important. A drop of water should sizzle & sputter when it hits the pan.
2) In a container of your choice (I like to use a 1L measuring cup), sift in the flour, sugar & salt. Sifting makes the pancakes more airy.
3) Add the milks, water, egg replacer and margarine to the dry ingredients. Sprinkle in the shredded coconut. With a fork, gently blend until just mixed, but leave the lumps! Over-mixing makes the gluten monsters come out. Unless you want seitan pancakes, I suggest taking it easy.
4) Pour into your hot & sultry pan, and flip when the pancake bubbles on one side.
5) Stuff your face. As a Canadian, I enjoy smothering my pancakes with pure maple syrup. But you don't have to do everything I do (just most things).

These pancakes are somewhat thin but delicious. If you want thick & fluffy, I suggest replacing the egg replacer with a replacement replacer. Sprinkle 1/4tsp baking soda & 1/4tsp baking powder into the dry ingredients. When you add the wet stuff, throw in 1TBSP of lemon juice. Proceed as usual. Or unusual.

*Your liquids may vary. If your coconut milk is fairly liquidy, you can use that alone - about 3/4 - 1C of it. I only had the thickened remnants of coconut milk, leftovers from a curry dish. I then ran out of soy milk, so water was required to help thin out the batter. Note: when experimenting with various liquids do your best to guesstimate how much you'll need before you mix it into the pancakes. Remember, gluten monsters. They're everywhere.
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My roommate found a recipe in the Gourmet Vegetarian by Jane Price, and paired it with a lovely, summery potato salad to make a delicious meal for us tonight. We adapted the recipe to be vegan, since the original called for eggs. The burgers were a bit dry so we smothered them with tasty pindjor sauce to add moisture & flavour.
The salad consisted of red potatoes (chopped & boiled, then left to cool), tomatoes, kernel corn, cucumber, shredded carrot, and fresh cilantro all seasoned with Dijon mustard, a bit of sesame oil, and a splash of olive oil. Yum! I would suggest chives as well (we were out).

Lentil & Chickpea Burgers
1C red lentils
1T oil
2 onions, sliced
1T tandoori mix powder (we left this out)
1 can of chickpeas, drained & rinsed
1T peeled & grated fresh ginger
Egg replacer (we used about 1.5T ground flax + 1T water)
3T chopped fresh parsley
2T chopped fresh coriander
2 1/4C stale breadcrumbs (we toasted fresh rye bread)

1) Bring to boil a pot of water. Add the lentils, turn down the heat, and simmer uncovered for 10 minutes (or til the lentils are tender). Drain well.

2) Heat the oil in a saucepan. Add the onions and saute until tender. Add the tandoori mix, stirring til fragrant. Let the mixture cool slightly.

3) Into a food processor, place the chickpeas, half of the cooked lentils, ginger, flax and onions (we didn't add the onions in this stage). Process til smooth, about 20 seconds. Transfer the mixture into a bowl. Stir in the remaining lentils, parsley, coriander, and breadcrumbs. Combine well, then divide the mixture into ten portions.

4) Shape each portion into round patties (refrigerate for 15 minutes to firm up the mixture, if you find it too soft).

5) Place the patties on a lightly greased BBQ (as the original recipe indicates), or broil in the oven at about 400C, flipping when browned. You can also fry in a pan until golden on both sides.

Enjoy!
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Sunshine! Yesss. I'm finally feeling more energized today than I have all week, thank god. I was getting so tired of, well, being tired! Today I woke at noon (!) which is impelling me to stay up all of tonight & all day tomorrow and try to get back on a "normal" sleep schedule. No, Ashley, you are not 16 anymore, even if you're still just as immature. Noon is simply not a good time to rise, especially during sunny days.

Fortunately, my spinach/banana/strawberry breakfast (...er, lunch?) smoothie was just the boost I needed to power through these first 7 hours of my planned all-nighter. I finally put away the clean clothes that had been sitting in my laundry basket since last week, making a nice light snack for Bjorn. My dresser was already overflowing with shirts I never wear anymore, so I used my revitalised state to get rid of the things that no longer fit. And let's be honest: there was a lot that had become too snug over the past year or two.

Yep, I've certainly packed on a few pounds recently, and I'm none too fond of the extra baggage. I've never been particularly thin, but when I was taking & teaching dance lessons frequently in 2007, I was toning up nicely. Then I broke my foot (in a dance rehearsal, no less) and dropped 15-20lbs during the 2 months I was on crutches. Being that close to "thin" was very nice, but I was also going through a lot of emotional stress so that period was none too pleasant overall.
 
Once I could walk again, my appetite returned but my physical activity plummeted. I jumped back into dance almost immediately but was limited in how much stress my foot could handle.

Aware of this, I tried to watch what I ate & stayed involved in dance. I worked with a wonderful boss at a gift store who kept me motivated simply by being her healthy, active self. I was also getting ready to graduate from university so I wanted to look my best when I crossed that stage. I consider the Spring of 2008 to be the time period when I looked my best, despite the personal things that were going on behind the scenes.

I moved to Halifax that summer, and my new workplace was surrounded by tempting eateries where I indulged in subs & paninis & falafels weekly. Though I walked or biked everywhere, I didn't have dance to keep me sweating so I definitely started gaining some pudge. Over the winter of 2008/2009 I did teach & take dance lessons again, but not as many as before so the weight continued to creep up. The past 8 months, though, have been the worst. My final recital was in June of last year, and again I spent the summer moving homes. I got a lot of walking & swimming in when the weather was nice, but man was last summer crappy overall! I started working in a job that had me at the computer more often than not, and my walking seemed to be primarily on flat terrain.

I did run more frequently but when winter struck it took me several months to not be scared shitless of the icy sidewalks. Combined with the delicious but sinful, comforting winter meals that my talented roommate cooked up for us, not to mention all the sweets I baked, my body finally reached maximum capacity. My roommate and I started walking together, I tried to run more often, and we both went swimming at the local pool. Things seem to have come to a halt since April, when I quit my job and let life get chaotic again. Being sick all week has even made the walk to the store seem like a marathon - and it's literally 2 minutes away! My eating habits have improved since the winter but I definitely want to start running as soon as this miserable cold disappears for good.

So here I sit, not really losing, hopefully not gaining anymore either. Without a scale I don't know what my weight is, but the fact that I donated half a wardrobe of clothes that fit - or were too loose! - just 2 years ago, I can safely say that I'm at my biggest. 

What does it all mean? Well, I don't want this to become a weight-loss blog, but I do want to say that I would like for this to fit me nicely someday soon:

I bought it that summer that I felt all fit & fine. I was down to a size 10, which this bathing suit claims to be, but I still felt too flabby to wear it with confidence. So into my drawers it went, never to sit in the sand or splash in the salt water of the Atlantic. I always kept it as motivation to get back to that size, but it slowly made its way to the bottom of my "out-of-season" hamper of clothes.
Today it resurfaced, and I plan to keep it out in plain sight so that I can remember why cookies for dinner are not wise. It's not that I think life will feel complete & worthwhile only if I'm a size 10; all of 2007/2008 is proof enough of that. However, I loved feeling toned, I loved being in shape, and most of all, I loved dancing.

So, along with the pointe shoes & ballet paintings on my wall, I will look at this bathing suit and feel determined to dance my way into well-being again!
I have a terrible habit of never measuring when I bake, particularly for goods like cookies. I just throw together a mix of things I presume will taste good, and follow the general guideline of mixing wet ingredients first, then folding in the dry ones. I also keep my toes crossed since my hands are preoccupied...

Here is my approximation of some cookies I baked tonight, which turned out rather nicely!
1/2 large banana
1/2C sugar (I use raw, organic)
1/2C vegan margarine (like Earth Balance)
1/2tsp vanilla
1/4C almond milk
1C rolled oats
1.5C unbleached white flour
1/4 tsp baking soda
1/3C raisins

1) Preheat oven to 350 degrees C.
2)Mash the banana in a medium bowl. Add the margarine & sugar, creaming them all together. Mix in the vanilla and almond milk.
3) Add the oats, flour & soda to the wet ingredients. Mix gently, then add in the raisins.
4) Spoon onto a lined or lightly greased cookie sheet, and bake for about 10-15 minutes.

They're probably not helping my cold go away, but they were a nice little pick-me-up. I suggest experimenting with your flavours. Throw in some cocoa, nutmeg, cinnamon, ginger, etc. and make it a peppy little number. I refrained from going beyond the basics because 1) I'm sick! The simpler the better! and B) my roommate isn't a big fan of cinnamon.

Lately I've been praising my immune system for keeping nasty little colds & flus at bay, and I can't say enough about the miracle cure that is whole garlic. Seriously, down a few roughly-chopped cloves and get some rest; your minor ailment will be almost non-existent in no time! Unfortunately, I've discovered that I am not as invincible as my 20-something-self likes to pretend, and no amount of garlic seems to be helping me this time around. I've spent the last couple of days curled up in bed, swaddled by blankets, hands wrapped around a warm mug of lemony water. Every sneeze is followed with a shiver, and my rabbit, Bjorn, eyes my roll of toilet paper enviously, quietly waiting til I drop off to sleep so he can sink his little gnashers into it.

When I'm down & out with a cold like this, I find anything book or computer-related to be hard on my eyes, so I settle for movies - lots & lots of movies! I'm fortunate to have a roommate with a fairly extensive DVD selection, so I was able to knock a few must-sees off my list.

First up was The Hours, a film with three story lines told over separate time periods & locations. Based on a book of the same name by Michael Cunningham, it follows the talented but disturbed Virginia Woolf as she wrote Mrs Dalloway in 1920s England; California housewife Laura Brown who is reading Mrs Dalloway in the 1950s; and modern-day New Yorker Clarissa Vaughan, who shares her name with the novel's title character.

I'd heard much about this film when it was first released, both good & bad. Some thought it was too long & drawn out, others got a kick out of Nicole Kidman's accentuated schnozz, and a few people actually purported to enjoy it. I found myself in the latter camp. Perhaps because I'm ill, and also fond of biographical storytelling, I rather enjoyed the juxtaposition of each woman's life and struggles. Depression is certainly not foreign to me. When I'm particularly down, movies like this remind me that I am not alone, and also offer some sort of hope that I can be strong & wade through the rough waters as the characters do. OK, maybe Woolf didn't wade so well...but let's not forget all her accomplishments in her short life! Anyway, Kidman, Julianne Moore, and Meryl Streep play their roles wonderfully. When does Streep not do a strong & independent NYC woman well? Fun fact: "Meryl" is a combination of "Mary Louise."

Next on the docket was Awakenings, which is based on the novel of the same name by Oliver Sacks. My ex had the book lying around our house for ages, but I'd never bothered to read it while it was at my disposal. I regret that now; I shall have to pick up a copy from my library soon!

This movie had a very One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest quality to it, right down to the eerie voices & echoes of patients in the corridors. The storyline is based on actual events in which neuropsychologist Sacks worked with patients suffering from encephalitis lethargica, and temporarily revived them with the help of a newly developed drug. The movie features Robin Williams as the fictional Dr Malcolm Sayer (ie, Sacks), and Robert DeNiro as his primary test patient Leonard Lowe. As with The Hours, I haven't read the book thus can't properly analyze the movie adaptation, but I enjoyed the characters and overall film. Some parts were just a little too OFOtCN, such as the day trip and general chaos of the patients, but I appreciated that any romantic storylines were merely hinted at, and not deeply/unnecessarily developed. It's refreshing to see a mature movie that is not hypersexed.

The third movie I watched in my sulky, sore-throat state was The Pianist. As with The Hours, this was a film I've heard plenty about but hadn't made the time to view. Starring Adrian Brody, The Pianist tells us the amazing story of musician Wladyslaw Szpilman and his survival in German-occupied Poland during World War II. My father has a keen interest in World War history, particularly revolving the Holocaust, so I was slightly worried that this film would be similar to Schindler's List and other films that focus in-depth on the torture & murder of Hitler's victims. The Pianist was a heart-breaker for sure, and there was no shortage of brutal murder scenes, but it mostly avoided scenes of extermination camps and instead focused on Szpilman's determination to survive. Brody's portrayal was quite good, though his accent was questionable and of course I don't know what the real Szpilman was like. Regardless, excellent film, and an incredibly story of survival.

I didn't realise til I wrote all this out that each movie was based on novels and historical figures. Also, each movie was either nominated for or won an Oscar.